Fairy Tail Texting
by Souleaterhetalia
Summary: Hi everybody! The Fairy Tail gang is back! And this time with phones! Read all of their texting mishaps as they conquer the world! (just kidding about about the conquering the world part) R&R!
1. Chapter 1

A/N

Hey guys, it's 12:17, i'm bored as crap, aaaaaand i'm pretty much doing what i normally do when bored, which is write. Idk y i decided to go with this plot, probably because i'm txtng my fairy pals and all their randomness. anyway, onward! My loyal knights! And proceed your reading!

Gray and Natsu: txts

FiReEaTeR123: hey ice princess, u mite wanah go find ur shirt

IcEyGuY58: stfu and go play wit fire

FiReEaTeR123: geez, y da hell r u so pissy today?

IcEyGuY58: none of yo dam buisnes flaming shit

FiReEaTeR123: does it got somefin to do wit juves?

IcEyGuY58: juves? Wtf?

FiReEaTeR123: juvia! Who da hel else!?

IcEyGuY58: watever, i done told u it none of ur buisnes, im goin, later dipshit

IcEyGuY58 has signed off

FiReEaTeR123: later ice underwear

FiReEaTeR123 has signed off

Just another fairy tail txtng story, I know it's short, but this is gray and natsu we're talkin about, they don't talk to eachother unless they are fighting or something, anyway, how about you guys tell me who you would like to see txtng, the first to reply what they want to see is the winner!

Whelp, Hasta le pasta! ~mwa


	2. Review!

A/N

Hey guys, imma make this note short, first person to tell me who they want to see txting will be in a chapter, since nobody reviewed i chose this time, on with the story

( im not gonnah tell u this time, im to lazy)

AYE_SIR843: do u hav any fish? This neko is HUNGRY!

DripDropWaterWoman: no juvia has no fish

AYE_SIR843: phooey

DripDropWaterWoman: y not ask mira fer some?

AYE_SIR843: she to buisy talkin to lucy bout somethin

DripDropWaterWoman: oh

AYE_SIR843: hang on, i thought u had droped ur phone in a puddle or something and it shorted out? Wen did u get a new 1?

DripDropWaterWoman: juvia got it replaced today, hey wait a sec, y do u even HAVE a phone!?

AYE_SIR843: i hav a phone becus im a cat

DripDropWaterWoman: that makes no sense

Aye_SIR843: just like u

DripDropWaterWoman: well that was a bit rude

AYE_SIR843: im hungry wat da hell else do u want from me!?

DripDropWaterWoman: other than a better attitude, juviad like it if u werent so mad at her, she did nothing to u

AYE_SIR843: u didnt giv me fish

DripDropWaterWoman: juvia already said that juvia has no fish

AYE_SIR843: but ur a water woman shouldnt u hav fish!?

DripDropWaterWoman: juvia controls water not wars in it

AYE_SIR843: wars? Wat wars!? All im askin for is fish lady!

DripDropWaterWoman: get natsu to go buy u some, and that was autocorrect, juvia just turnt it off

AYE_SIR843: he to buisy fighting with gray

DripDropWaterWoman: juvia doesnt care, y did u decide to ask juvia anyway?

AYE_SIR843: cuz nobody else is respondin

DripDropWaterWoman: not juvias problem

AYE_SIR843: rite, u must be to busy stalkin gray or somethin like that

DripDropWaterWoman: so wat if juvia is!? Its none of ur buisnes anyway, damn neko, and just so u know im not

AYE_SIR843: no need to get so pissy

DripDropWaterWoman: ur 1 to talk

AYE_SIR843: im hungry, theres my reason, ur just plane mean today

DripDropWaterWoman: if juvia comes with u and buys u fish will u leev her alone?

AYE_SIR843: yes

DripDropWaterWoman: then come on, and im not buying u to much, i hav rent u knoe

AYE_SIR843: watever come on lets go

AYE_SIR843 has signed off

DripDropWaterWoman has signed off

Ita: I fergot the disclamer, juvia take it away

Juvia: ita owns nothing involving Fairy Tail other than some of the manga

Happy: we'd be screwed if she did

Ita: SHUT UP YOU DAMN NEKO! *throws books at happy*

Happy: waaaaah! Ita's mean!

Ita: *ignoring him* that's all for this chapter!

Juvia: don't forget to review!

Happy: BYE!

Ita: Hasta le pasta!


	3. Special Request!

(A/N:

ita: hey guys! this is a chapter requested by RavenofSilver, enjoy! Levy, do the disclaimer please!

levy: ita owns nothing, everything belongs to Hiro Mashima!

ita: if i did then jellal and erza would have kissed, but noooooo, damn jellal had to go and absolutely kill the would have been kawaii moment!

levy: *sweatdrops*

PHANTOMLORDDRAGON: oi, shrimp, u on?

FTscriptMAGE: what do you want Gajeel? I'm trying to read.

PHANTOMLORDDRAGON: damn, shrimp do u ever put thos lame books down? liten up sum

FTscriptMAGE: fuck you Gajeel. Do you even know HOW to spell!? AND BOOKS AREN'T LAME!

PHANTOMLORDDRAGON: do u nowe how NOT to spel!?

FTscriptMAGE: yes, I do know how, I just choose to spell correctly.

PHANTOMLORDDRAGON: if u liten up sum ill by u a book from store

FTscriptMAGE: ...

PHANTOMLORDDRAGON: is tat a deel?

FTscriptMAGE: #1, change ur name, ur not a member of phantom lord anymo, #2, fine, lets go... bring $

FAIRYTAILSIRONMAN: ther, i changd my name, meat u at guild...

( 8 hrs later )

FAIRYTAILSIRONMAN: HOW IN DA HELL COULD IT TAK SO LONG TO PICK OUT A BOOK!?

FTscriptMAGE: STFU MR. "I GOT ARRESTED FOR BEATING UP THE MANAGER AND THE CASHIERS!"

FAIRYTAILSIRONMAN: NOT ME FALT THEY TRIDE TO SWINDLE ME!

FTscriptMAGE: THEY DIDNT TRI TO SWINDL U, U GOT MAD AT THEM BECUS U DIDNT BRING ENOUGH MONEY!

FAIRYTAILSIRONMAN: THEY CHARG TO MUCh FOR BOOKS!

FTscriptMAGE: THEY ALWAYS CHARGE THAT! AND AFTER U GOT ARRESTED, I HAD GO AND BAIL U OUT!

FAIRYTAILSIRONMAN: fuck... ur not gonah let me live this down til i buy u a book r u...

FTscriptMAGE: tri 2 books... plus money back for bailing u out...

FAIRYTAILSIRONMAN: aw fuck... how much?

FTscriptMAGE: 100,000 jewel

FAIRYTAILSIRONMAN: fuck...

FTscriptMAGE: quit saying that...

FAIRYTAILSIRONMAN: wat? fuck?

FTscriptMAGE: yes

FAIRYTAILSIRONMAN: no... fuck fuck fuck

FTscriptMAGE: stop

FAIRYTAILSIRONMAN: no! FUCK FUCK FUCK!

FTscriptMAGE: QUIT IT!

FAIRYTAILSIRONMAN: NO! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKEDY FUCK FUCK

FTscriptMAGE: I'M TELLING ERZA ON U

FAIRYTAILSIRONMAGE: GO AHEAD! IM NOT SCARED OF THAT CAKE LOVING ARMOR WEARING MONSTER!

FTscriptMAGE: GOOD LUCK

( ERZA AND GAJEEL)

TitaniaFairy: GAJEEEEEL! *throws text sword*

FAIRYTAILSIRONMAN: * FUCKS AND RUNS*

TitaniaFairy: ...

TitaniaFairy: WHAT THE HELL GAJEEL!?

FAIRYTAILSIRONMAN: what?

TitaniaFairy: read the first message u snt...

FAIRYTAILSIRONMAN: WHAT THE HELL!? I MEANT DUCKS! I SWEAR IT! I WOULDN'T FUCK A SWORD!

TitaniaFairy: QUIT CURSING SO MUCH! THE NEXT TIME LEVY TEXTS ME AND TELLS ME YOU'RE CURSING TO MUCH AGAIN, THEN I'LL KILL U WITH MY SWORDS!

FAIRYTAILSIRONMAN: okay! okay! alright!

TitaniaFairy has signed off

( LEVY AND GAJEEL)

FAIRYTAILSIRONMAN: i thought i was dead...

FTscriptMAGE: so u didnt die... crap...

FAIRYTAILSIRONMAN: whatever... later shrimp

FAIRYTAILSIRONMAN has signed off

ita: Sorry if you didn't like the erza part, i've been wanting to write her in, sorry if it's OOC! HOPE U ENJOYED!

Levy: * reading* hmm? oh yeah! Bye!

Gajeel: *eating iron and with a mouth full* mater

Erza: *stops eating her cake* goodbye *starts back again*

ita: *pulls out a bowl of pasta getting ready to dig in* HASTA LE PASTA!


	4. New Guest!

A/N:

Ita: Hey guys! long time no see! Sorry i havn't been uploading as much, there's been some things going on, but i've got it all worked out! since it's been a while, i'm going to see if i can make this chapter a super duper long one! Or atleast longer than the other chapters of this story. And as promised, there will be a guest in this chapter! remember to review and you might can be a guest too! Now, let us go, towards victory and beyond!

Juvia: What?

Ita: *sulks* Nobody gets my midevilish speakings...

Aquarius: The midevil blonde shorty owns nothing, just like always.

RavenofSilver: Hiro Mashima owns all

Ita: Now, thee brave and fellow knights, let us move forward! TO VICTORY!

Juvia: What victory? They're just reading

Ita: -_- Shut up so I can start the story

RavenofSilver: HEY GUUUURL!

DripDropWaterWoman: hello, how are you?

RavenofSilver: Gerald

DripDropWaterWoman: ?

RavenofSilver: dangit. AND AUTO CORRECT STRIKES AGAIN!

DripDropWaterWoman: o_o

DripDropWaterWoman: has mira been giving you sweets?

RavenofSilver: MAYBEEEEEEE

DripDropWaterWoman: dear mavis...

RavenofSilver: so how are things with snowcone?

DripDropWaterWoman: who?

RavenofSilver: u know who im talkin bout, i know you do

DripDropWaterWoman: well um... juvia asked him if he wanted to come on a mission with juvia...

RavenofSilver: and?

DripDropWaterWoman: he turned juvia down TT-TT

RavenofSilver: did he turn you down, or did he cut you off in the middle of your sentence to go fight with cotton candy head?

DripDropWaterWoman: the 2nd 1...

RavenofSilver: that's your prob, u hav to make him notice you, otherwise you'll never get n answer

DripDropWaterWoman: but juvia doesn't know how to do that

RavenofSilver: just tell him you'd like to talk outside, and then once your out there with 0 distractions you ask him!

DripDropWaterWoman: and if he says no?

RavenofSilver: then you cry a little bit and move on! if he doesn't have the heart to even go on a mission with you, then he's obviously not worth the effort

DripDropWaterWoman: but juvia doesn't know if she can handle being rejected...

RavenofSilver: what do u have to lose? just give it a shot okay? if he turns you down, there's a certain member of lamia scale that would gladly take you out! just know that if he turns you down, i'll be there to kick his sorry ass into next wednesday!

DripDropWaterWoman: okay, if u really think juvia should do it, then juvia guess's she'll give it a shot

RavenofSilver: good for u! now, go get em tiger!

DripDropWaterWoman: k!

DripDropWaterWoman has signed out

-you have a new message from: GoldenKeyAquarius-

GoldenKeyAquarius: oi, u there?

RavenofSilver: yeah, what's up?

GoldenKeyAquarius: can i ask u a question?

RavenofSilver: sure, ask away

GoldenKeyAquarius: have natsu and lucy hooked up yet?

RavenofSilver: i don't think so

GoldenKeyAquarius: what about gray and juvia?

RavenofSilver: no, but i convinced juvia to work up the courage to ask gray to come on a mission with her, idk the results yet

GoldenKeyAquarius: what about gajeel and levy?

RavenofSilver: the other day they went to the book store together, idk why though

GoldenKeyAquarius: how about jellal and erza?

RavenofSilver: nope, and i thought you said u wanted to ask A question? u've asked 4 now

GoldenKeyAquarius: so? u answered them without saying anything until the last question

RavenofSilver: i see your point, but y are u asking if any of them have become a couple yet?

GoldenKeyAquarius: there are a few reasons, but my main one's are 1. they need to get together already, 2. because i wanted to know, and 3. if they had gotten together and i had asked them about it they would've denied everything

RavenofSilver: , , and

GoldenKeyAquarius: so what's up?

RavenofSilver: trying to get mira to give me more cake

GoldenKeyAquarius: seriously? leave her alone, u dont need more sugar

RavenofSilver: -_-

RavenofSilver: fine

-you have a new message from: DripDropWaterWoman-

RavenofSilver: i just got a message from juves

GoldenKeyAquarius: set up a group message so i can hear what happened

RavenofSilver: k

GoldenKeyAquarius: so?

RavenofSilver: what happened?

DripDropWaterWoman: HE SAID YES! JUVIA IS SOOOOOOOO HAPPY!

GoldenKeyAquarius: go get u some gurl!

RavenofSilver: Aye!

GoldenKeyAquarius: so when are u going?

DripDropWaterWoman: next week!

RavenofSilver: congrats! i wish u a happy marriage, and a house full of 30 kids!

GoldenKeyAquarius: seriously? they're not getting married! they're just going on a mission together! jeez, how much cake did mira give u anyways?

RavenofSilver: that's for me to know and u to not know

DripDropWaterWoman: so... a lot then?

GoldenKeyAquarius: i'd say so...

RavenofSilver: DEEERP

DripDropWaterWoman: get ahold of yourself!

GoldenKeyAquarius has signed out

DripDropWaterWoman has signed out

RavenofSilver has signed out

(ita: th-th-th-th-th-th- THAT'S ALL FOLKS!

juvia: juvia can't wait until next week!

RavenofSilver: of course you can't!

Aquarius: maybe after going on a mission with him she'll stop stalking him

Juvia: what's wrong with that?

all 3 girls: IT'S CREEPY

Juvia: *mutters* admiring someone is not being creepy... *pouts*

Aquarius: well, tune in next time! and don't forget to review damnit!

RavenofSilver: Hasta Le Pasta!

Ita: hey! that's my line!

RavenofSilver: *sticks tounge out at her*

Ita: *chases RavenofSilver* GET BACK HERE!

Juvia&Aquarius: BYE!)


	5. Filler Chapter

( ita: hellooooo my loyal subjects! this is just gonnah be like a little filler chapter because i'm bored, and you little kids might not want to read where there's the long line of exclamation points, there'll be intense swearing. THOU HATH BEEN WARNED! this chapter isn't about texting, let's just say that everyone's favorite fairy tail drunkard is really really really really really really really REALLY drunk! enjoy!)

cana: MIRAAAAA! IM OUT OF ALCHOHOL!

mira: cana stop shouting, i'm working on it

cana: I AM NOT SHOUTIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!

mira: i think you've had enough

cana: I WANT MOOOOOOOOOOOORE!

mira: chill out, i'm working on it

cana: *giggles hysterically* i am soooooooo wasted

mira: you can say that again

cana: I VANT MORE!

mira: *hands her water instead* here

cana: *takes a sip before spitting it out* THIS IS NOT BOOZE?

mira: yes it is

cana: IS NOT

mira: *shouts* gildarts give me a hand over here!

!

gildarts: *sighs* come on cana, let's get u home, you've had enough

cana: DA FUCKIN SHIT I HAVE BITCH

gildarts: cana let's go

cana: HELL NO MOTHER FUCKIN PIECE OF SHIT!

gildarts: stop cursing so much

cana: NO

cana: SHIT FUCKIN DAMN BITCH CUNT ASS MUTHA FUCKIN HOE

gildarts: *picks cana up* come on

cana: PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN DAMNIT

gildarts: no

cana: *so drunk seeing double* HOLY FUCKIN SHIT BALLS THERE ARE TWO OF YOU JUST FUCKIN GREAT EVEN MORE SHIT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH

gildarts: *sighs*

(ita: i own nothing, everything belongs to the devil incarnate known as Hiro Mashima

i have no clue why i did this

whelp, Hasta Le Pasta!)


	6. Won't You Accept My Fish?

( ita: greetings to you all! I apologize for my missed day last week, for i was in the middle of a tragedy called writers block. However, I have returned. And thus, this chapter has been made. Now come, let us enjoy a new chapter!

Happy: why do you talk so funny?

Ita: Silence you blue, talking, feline! For I enjoy it, and it sounds cool

Carla: maybe to you, but not to me (anybody catch that reference? no? just me? okay)

Ita: Thee talking felines just do not grasp the importance of my language

Happy: if you say so

Ita: Carla, would you be so kind as to do the disclaimer?

Carla: The strange talking weirdo writer owns nothing of importance

ita: thy talking feline, why must you be so cruel?)

AYE_SIR843: Carla-chan! i got you a fish!

Carla_Female_Neko: i do not want your fish male cat

AYE_SIR843: why not?

Carla_Female_Neko: because i don't

AYE_SIR843: but y dont u?

Carla_Female_Neko: i just dont want it

AYE_SIR843: but why?

Carla_Female_Neko: if i take your fish, will you leave me alone?

AYE_SIR843: maybe

Carla_Female_Neko: fine, ill accept your fish

AYE_SIR843: will u go on a date with me Carla-chan?

Carla_Female_Neko: why on earth would i do something like that

AYE_SIR843: please?

Carla_Female_Neko: no

AYE_SIR843: pleeeaaase?

Carla_Female_Neko: no

AYE_SIR843: pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaase?

Carla_Female_Neko: fine

AYE_SIR843: really!?

Carla_Female_Neko: nope

AYE_SIR843: TT^TT why not

Carla_Female_Neko: because

AYE_SIR843: because why?

Carla_Female_Neko: because i don't want to

AYE_SIR843: why dont u want to?

Carla_Female_Neko: because

AYE_SIR843: i'll take you wherever you want to go

Carla_Female_Neko: i want you to go away

AYE_SIR843: why wont you give me a chance?

Carla_Female_Neko: because

AYE_SIR843: because why?

Carla_Female_Neko: i don't know

Carla_Female_Neko: just because

AYE_SIR843: please?

Carla_Female_Neko: fine

AYE_SIR843: really!?

Carla_Female_Neko: i guess

Carla_Female_Neko: i've got nothing better to do

AYE_SIR843: YIPPE!

Carla_Female_Neko: don't get so excited male cat

AYE_SIR843: Aye! see you tonight at 8?

Carla_Female_Neko: sure

Carla_Female_Neko has signed off

(

ita: whaddya think guys?

Happy: hey what happened to your weird language?

Ita: it's starting to get a little difficult, what with trying to mix together old fashioned words with new ones and all, so i've decided to stop

ita: for now

Carla: about time, you and your freakish old talk were driving me insane

ita: why are you so mean!?

Carla: why are you so weird!?

Happy: anyway, don't forget to review who you wannah see texting next!

Ita: oh, and due to school starting tomorrow, i don't know if i can keep to the schedgule i recently made for myself, but, if you review who you want to see texting, i'll see if i can't write it on same day you leave it! but yo have to review in order for it to happen!

Carla: i'm sure they're tired of hearing you talk, end the story already so i can go home

Ita: okay! okay! geez

Happy: Bye!

Ita: Hasta Le Pasta!)


	7. Sorry It's Short!

( Ita: Hiya everybody! sorry it took me so long to get back to you on this one, school has been a real tough one! anyways, i plan on doing maybe two or three chapters today so be on the lookout! this chapter may be a little short because it was a little hard comming up with how the conversation would go, but i hope ya'll enjoy it! and don't forget to review! Wakaba, the disclaimer if you please.

Wakaba: Ita doesn't own Fairy Tail.

Ita: if i did, Gray and Juvia would already be married and have 33 babies, just saying.)

Wakaba_OF_FT: How do I fly a plane?

Macao_Of_FT: um

Macao_Of_FT: what

Wakaba_OF_FT: I meant how do I work this thing

Macao_Of_FT: first turn off auto correct

Wakaba_OF_FT: how

Macao_Of_FT: seriously man

Wakaba_OF_FT: don't act like Romeo didn't have to teach you these things when you got yours

Macao_Of_FT: u go onto the gear lookin thing and hit keyboard then you turn off autocorrect

Wakaba_OF_FT: olay

Macao_Of_FT: ill bring the chips and salsa

Wakaba_OF_FT: ha ha ha veeeery funny macao

Macao_Of_FT: how do you know i wasn't being serious

Wakaba_OF_FT: huh

Wakaba_OF_FT: wait

Wakaba_OF_FT: what

Macao_Of_FT: olay

Wakaba_OF_FT: im gonnah ask mira out again

Macao_Of_FT: shes just gonnah turn into ur wife again, take a hint dude

Wakaba_OF_FT: she turned into my wife

Macao_Of_FT: told ya

Wakaba_OF_FT: whatever

Wakaba_OF_FT: me and a few other guys from the guild are going to the guild to get drinks and hit on mira, wannah come?

Macao_Of_FT: sure

Wakaba_OF_FT: k, see ya there

Wakaba_OF_FT has signed off

( ita: so what did ya'll think? sorry if it's a bit OOC, and if they sound younger than they actually are

Wakaba/Macao: HEY!

Ita: you know how adults can be sometimes, in order to feel young again they act young again! anyhow, i hope everyone enjoyed the chapter!

Macao: don't forget to review!

ita: Hasta Le Pasta! )


	8. Just As Promised!

( ita: as promised here's another one! sorry if its suckish, i'm not real big on ideas. anyway, wish me luck for school tomorrow! Mira, the disclaimer if you please

Mira: with pleasure, Ita doesn't own Fairy Tail, everything rightfully belongs to Hiro Mashima

Ita: and on with the...whatever this is, i don't think it could technically be classified as a story but whateves. )

FT_barmaid: hey cana!

FT_drunkard: sup

FT_barmaid: so I was wondering

FT_drunkard: yes

FT_drunkard: what is it mira?

FT_drunkard: oi, are you there?

FT_drunkard: ellooo

FT_barmaid: sorry, it was wakaba again

FT_drunkard: again?

FT_drunkard: doesnt he knoe how to take a hint?

FT_barmaid: i gues not

FT_drunkard: u need to learn how to put ur foot down abot those things

FT_barmaid: i do put my foot down!

FT_drunkard: turnin into his wife isnt putin ur foot down, stop transforming and tell him flat out no

FT_barmaid: okay okay

FT_barmaid: its just so much more fun to do it the other way but whateves

FT_drunkard: o_o

FT_drunkard: wait...

FT_drunkard: THATS why you do it!?

FT_drunkard: because you think its fun!?

FT_barmaid: yup! ^-^ why else would i do it?

FT_drunkard: wow

FT_drunkard: you really are a she devil arent you

FT_barmaid: yup!

FT_drunkard: so what did u want to ask me?

FT_barmaid: oh, that

FT_barmaid: i wanted to ask u y it is u love alchohaul so much?

FT_drunkard: i gues it just removes some stress that may be on my mind at the present moment

FT_barmaid: i dont get it

FT_drunkard: like, say, take the grand magic games for example!

FT_barmaid: uh-huh

FT_drunkard: if i were sober after that first day, i would have been really stressed out and all because of how badly the guild was doing, but i wasnt sober, and, therefore, wasnt thinking about the grand magic games

FT_barmaid: oh, i get it now!

FT_barmaid: well, i gottah run, ttyl!

FT_drunkard: later

FT_barmaid has signed off

FT_drunkard has signed off

( ita: well everyone, hope you enjoyed it! don't forget to review!

cana: *drinking booze* later

mira: *cleaning a glass* bye!

ita: *eating pasta* Hasta Le Pasta! )


End file.
